New rules - we needed new rules. No one opens the main doors but me. No one leaves the property without me. No one goes outside without letting me know. I had these horrible images in my head of kids being restrained against their wills, of kids crying my name out, begging me to help them when I was powerless. Desperate times… Lord, my soul called out. Lord…somehow that's as far as I could get. I didn't have the words.
This quote poignantly captures the overwhelming sense of responsibility and helplessness experienced during trying times. The speaker's insistence on strict control—such as only they opening doors or allowing movement—reflects a need to establish order and safety amidst chaos. The vivid imagery of children restrained and crying out in distress elicits a deep emotional response, highlighting their vulnerability and the speaker’s frustration or despair in feeling powerless to protect them. It resonates with the universal human experience of grappling with limitations when confronted with situations beyond one's control. The mention of prayer or calling out to the Lord hints at a search for solace, understanding, or strength beyond human capacity, underscoring the spiritual dimension of facing profound hardship. The phrase “desperate times” encapsulates the intensity of the inner turmoil—times when conventional words and actions fall short, leaving only a sense of raw emotion and primal call for help. This quote reminds us how crises often evoke our deepest fears, forcing us to impose strict rules or boundaries as coping mechanisms. It also underscores the importance of compassion and the sometimes unbearable burden of guardianship when moral or emotional limits are tested. Ultimately, it portrays a moment of crisis that pushes the narrator to their emotional brink but also reveals a fragile plea for resilience amidst despair.