Now I can lean into joy, even when it makes me feel tender and vulnerable. In fact, I expect tender and vulnerable. Joy is as thorny and sharp as any of the dark emotions. To love someone fiercely, to believe in something with your whole heart, to celebrate a fleeting moment in time, to fully engage in a life that doesn't come with guarantees—these are risks that involve vulnerability and often pain. When we lose our tolerance for discomfort, we lose joy. In fact, addiction research shows us that an intensely positive experience is as likely to cause relapse as an intensely painful experience.
This quote invites a profound reflection on the nature of joy and vulnerability. It emphasizes that true joy is not always easy or comfortable; rather, it often comes intertwined with tenderness and vulnerability. Embracing these difficult emotions is essential for experiencing genuine happiness because avoiding discomfort also prevents us from experiencing the fullness of life’s pleasurable moments. The metaphor of joy being 'thorny and sharp' reminds us that happiness and love are not free of pain—they are profoundly interconnected. Loving fiercely, believing wholeheartedly, and living fully without guarantees expose us to risks, including pain and loss, but they are also sources of authenticity and deep fulfillment.
The insight that losing our tolerance for discomfort diminishes our capacity for joy is especially resonant. Many tend to retreat from vulnerability to protect themselves from potential hurt, yet this protection often leads to a shallow existence, missing out on the profound beauty of true connection and engagement. Addiction research reinforcing that intense positive experiences can cause relapse as much as pain highlights that our emotional experiences are complex and that cultivating resilience is necessary to sustain a meaningful, joyful life.
Ultimately, this quote advocates for a courageous embrace of vulnerability as the gateway to genuine happiness. It challenges us to accept the risks inherent in loving and living fully, recognizing that true joy requires us to lean into discomfort instead of avoiding it. This perspective can inspire us to cultivate resilience, authenticity, and openness, enriching our emotional experiences and leading to a more wholehearted life.