In this passage, the character expresses a profound sense of exhaustion and emotional turmoil. She recognizes the shift in her feelings, preferring the honesty of her current love over a former idealization. This realization leads her to hastily retreat, leaving behind the connection before her, indicating a struggle between vulnerability and self-worth.

As she rushes to Tuck's cottage, she seeks the comfort of belonging and identity among her peers as an outlaw. Despite her heartache, she finds solace in her role as Cecil, which gives her a sense of purpose. The reflection on her identity raises existential concerns, pondering whether without her role, she would feel like no one at all.