Over and over, I ran at the sea, beating it until I was so tired I could barely stand. And then the next time I fell down, I just lay there and let the waves wash over me, and I wondered what would happen if I stopped trying to get back up. Just let my body go. Would I be washed out to sea? The sharks would eat my limbs and organs. Little fish would feed on my fingertips. My beautiful white bones would fall to the bottom of the ocean, where anemones would grow upon them like flowers. Pearls would rest in my eye sockets.

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The narrator experiences a profound struggle against the relentless force of the sea, pushing themselves to the brink of exhaustion. They reflect on their determination to rise despite overwhelming difficulties, but a moment of surrender leads to contemplation about the consequences of simply giving up. With the waves washing over them, they wonder about the fate of their body if they just let go, revealing a deep existential fear and curiosity about life and death.

This meditation on mortality evokes vivid imagery of nature's reclaiming power, where the body becomes part of the ocean's cycle. The narrator imagines their remains being consumed by sea creatures and transformed into something beautiful, highlighting a contradiction between despair and the natural beauty of decay. Ultimately, this passage explores themes of resilience, surrender, and the interconnectedness of life and death.

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March 25, 2025

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