In this passage, the protagonist reflects on memories of Alejandra, particularly the way her sadness manifested in her physical presence. He acknowledges a deep sense of alienation from the world, despite his ongoing affection for it. This feeling of foreignness seems to return to him, reminiscent of childhood innocence, highlighting a complex emotional struggle.
The protagonist contemplates the duality of beauty and suffering within the world. He perceives a hidden truth beneath the surface beauty, suggesting that it comes at a cost, where joy and pain coexist in a delicate balance. This notion implies that true beauty is intertwined with sacrifice, revealing a troubling relationship between joy and sorrow that shapes the human experience.