She felt attracted by their weakness as by vertigo. She felt attracted by it because she felt weak herself. Again she began to feel jealous and again her hands shook. When Tomas noticed it, he did what he usually did: he took her hands in his and tried to calm them by pressing hard. She tore them away from him.What's the matter? he asked.Nothing.What do you want me to do for you?I want you to be old. Ten years older. Twenty years older!What she meant was: I want you to be weak. As weak as I am.
The woman in this passage feels a deep attraction to weakness, which she experiences as a kind of vertigo. This attraction stems from her own feelings of frailty and insecurity. As she becomes aware of her jealousy, her anxiety manifests physically, causing her hands to shake. When Tomas tries to reassure her by holding her hands, she instinctively pulls away, illustrating her struggle between seeking comfort and resisting vulnerability.
Her desire for Tomas to age and become weaker signifies her longing for companionship in fragility. It reveals her wish for him to reflect her own sense of inadequacy. She desires a connection through mutual weakness, as it would bridge the gap between them, matching her internal struggle with his strength. This poignant moment captures the complexities of love, desire, and the intertwined nature of strength and vulnerability within relationships.
