She felt that she enjoyed it {horseback riding} in a pagan, sensuous way, and always looked forward to renouncing it.
The quote reflects the protagonist's complex feelings towards horseback riding in George Eliot's "Middlemarch." She experiences a deep, almost instinctual pleasure from the activity, which connects her to a raw and natural enjoyment reminiscent of pagan traditions. This enjoyment highlights the sensual nature of her experience, suggesting an intimate bond with the activity that transcends mere leisure.
Interestingly, her anticipation of renouncing this joy indicates an internal struggle. It suggests a desire to conform to societal expectations or perhaps a need to suppress her passions. This duality illustrates the conflict between personal desires and external pressures, a recurring theme in Eliot's work, emphasizing the complexity of human emotions and the societal constraints that often govern them.
