In this passage, the character experiences an emotional moment where she struggles to hold back tears. Despite feeling disconnected from the Clayr, she still strongly identifies herself as a librarian. Her sense of identity and belonging remains anchored in her role as a librarian, which holds deep personal significance for her.

The quote highlights her inner conflict and sense of loss, but also her unwavering connection to her core identity. It signifies that even as she changes or faces new circumstances, her heart remains tied to her role as a librarian, symbolizing her enduring sense of purpose and self-understanding.