The character in the book recognizes her turmoil and understands the insincerity of her customary prayers. Instead of acknowledging her true feelings of misery and bitterness, she finds herself unable to express her genuine struggles in a heartfelt manner. This realization highlights her internal conflict and the complexity of her emotions.
She ultimately reflects on the nature of her prayer, understanding that an honest appeal to God would involve confessing her deep-seated fears and the impact they have on her actions. This moment of clarity emphasizes her desire for authenticity in her relationship with the divine, as she grapples with the difficult aspects of her life.