She knew that was not an honest prayer, and she did not linger over it. The right prayer would have been, Lord . . . I am miserable and bitter at heart, and old fears are rising up in me so that everything I do makes everything worse.
The character in the book recognizes her turmoil and understands the insincerity of her customary prayers. Instead of acknowledging her true feelings of misery and bitterness, she finds herself unable to express her genuine struggles in a heartfelt manner. This realization highlights her internal conflict and the complexity of her emotions.
She ultimately reflects on the nature of her prayer, understanding that an honest appeal to God would involve confessing her...