She was shivering from the cold, and from her deep-seated fear of having to live a broken and lonely life like this for the rest of her days. So stunted were her emotions, though, that even now, at her lowest ebb, it did not occur to her to cry. Crying had never gained Lily anything, even as a baby it had never brought her mother to her side, and so she did not understand that to most girls of her age it was a powerful weapon to be used, was a tool to be harnessed and eventually unleashed on the men in her life, both old and new, to guarantee that she got exactly what she wanted.
Lily is experiencing profound cold and fear, feeling trapped in a life of loneliness and despair. Despite being at her lowest point, she is emotionally stunted; the thought of crying doesn’t even cross her mind. Throughout her life, her tears have never attracted the care she needed, especially from her mother, leading her to believe that crying is ineffective.
Most girls her age see tears as a valuable tool for manipulation and emotional expression, but Lily is unaware of this. Unlike them, she has never learned to utilize her emotions to influence the people around her, leaving her isolated in her struggles and unable to express her needs or desires effectively.
