She would not let herself get lost in the past, making it somehow better and lovelier than it was. She'd never liked that in old people when she was young, and she wasn't about to countenance it in herself now. The past was a lot like Wonderland: treacherous and marvelous and dull in equal measure. Survival was all that mattered - and she was a survivor. Of course, in the end, she thought, there is no such thing as survival. And just as well. What a clutter the world would be if none of us ever died.
The character reflects on the importance of living in the present rather than getting lost in nostalgic memories. She remembers how, as a child, she disliked when older individuals romanticized the past, and she vows not to succumb to that tendency herself. The past is described as a complex mix of wonder and danger, akin to Wonderland, underscoring the idea that while it holds enchantment, it is also fraught with challenges and monotony.
She emphasizes the notion of survival as her primary focus, recognizing that life is transient. Ultimately, she acknowledges that the concept of survival is precarious because, without death, the world would be overwhelmed. This perspective on life and mortality reveals a deeper understanding of existence, where accepting the inevitable cycle of life and death is essential for clarity and purpose.
