The protagonist, who has been preparing herself since she was thirteen, recognizes that she doesn't fit the conventional beauty standards set by her peers in Bayhead Harbor. Despite this, she notices the attention she receives from older men, which sets her apart from her contemporaries. This dynamic creates a complicated relationship between her self-perception and the way men view her.

Her yearning for older guys is palpable and evident in her expressions. She seems to be caught in a conflict where her desires for connection and validation lead her to seek out relationships with men who are not only older but also more experienced. This situation further complicates her understanding of her own identity and place in the world.