In her book "Becoming," Michelle Obama reflects on the importance of inner qualities in a partner rather than superficial traits like looks or wealth. She critiques her friends who prioritize appearances and financial stability when choosing a mate. They often believe that marriage can resolve deeper issues of communication and vulnerability, which is a misguided approach to relationships.

Michelle contrasts this with her experience of meeting Barack Obama, who immediately demonstrated emotional openness and honesty. From their first conversation, she appreciated his ability to express fears and weaknesses, highlighting that he was already a well-rounded individual. This foundational honesty set their relationship apart and emphasized the significance of authenticity in a successful partnership.