Suddenly, I viddied what I had to do, and what I had wanted to do, and that was to do myself in; to snuff it, to blast off for ever out of this wicked, cruel world. One moment of pain perhaps and, then, sleep forever, and ever and ever.
In this poignant moment from "A Clockwork Orange," the protagonist reaches a profound realization about his desires and the darkness surrounding his life. The overwhelming feeling of despair drives him to contemplate ending his suffering permanently. He sees this act as a release from the harsh realities of the world, envisioning a transition from pain to eternal peace.
The notion of seeking escape through death reveals the character's deep inner struggle with the violence and cruelty he perceives in existence. This contemplation reflects a broader theme of the book, exploring the tension between free will and the consequences of one's actions in a chaotic society.