That is another chamber of my heart that shows no electrical activity - the chamber that used to flicker into life when I saw a film that moved me, or read a book that inspired me, or listened to music that made me want to cry. I closed that chamber myself, for all the usual reasons. And now I seem to have made a pact with some philistine devil: if I don't attempt to re-open it, I will be allowed just enough energy and optimism to get through a working day without wanting to hang myself.
The author reflects on a part of his heart that once brimmed with emotion and vitality, filled with the joy of art and creativity. He describes this emotional chamber as inactive now, a result of his own decision to shut it down. This closure stems from common reasons people suppress their feelings, leading to a numb existence devoid of inspiration or passion.
Despite the heaviness of this self-imposed pact, he acknowledges that maintaining this emotional barrier allows him to manage daily life without overwhelming despair. The contrast highlights a struggle between the desire to feel deeply and the fear of vulnerability that comes with reopening those previously cherished sentiments.