The blue face! The obscene protrusion of the tongue! The tumefaction of the penis! The penis, well now, that's a surprise, I'd forgotten I had one. What a pity I have no arms, there might still be something to be wrung from it. No, 'tis better thus. At my age, to start manstuprating again, it would be indecent. And fruitless. And yet one can never tell. With a yo heave yo, concentrating with all my might on a horse's rump, at the moment when the tail raises, who knows, I might not go altogether empty-handed away. Heaven, I almost felt it flutter!
The excerpt touches on themes of physicality, memory, and the passage of time. The speaker reflects on their blue face and unexpected features, such as a forgotten penis, which hints at past experiences and lost vitality. There is a sense of absurdity and humor in the realization of their own body while acknowledging limitations, described through the lack of arms and the paradox of wanting to engage in acts deemed inappropriate for their age.
The mention of concentrating on the horse's rump evokes a tension between desire and futility. The speaker grapples with an absurd, fleeting hope, suggesting that even in a seemingly hopeless situation, there remains a flicker of possibility. This internal conflict highlights both the physical and existential aspects of the speaker's condition, capturing the essence of Beckett's complex exploration of identity and the human experience.
