The dead, he had said once, need nothing from the living, and the living can give nothing to the dead. At twenty-two, it had sounded precocious; at thirty-four, it sounded mature, and this pleased Michael very much. He had liked being mature and reasonable. He disliked ritual and pomposity, routine and false emotion, rhetoric and sweeping gestures. Crowds made him nervous. Pageantry offended him. Essentially a romantic, he had put away the trappings of romance, although he had loved them deeply and never known.

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Michael reflects on a profound statement he once made about the dead and the living, noting how his interpretation matured over time. At twenty-two, he viewed it as a clever insight, but by thirty-four, he had come to appreciate its deeper wisdom, finding satisfaction in his newfound maturity. He embraces reason over sentimentality, relishing in his adult perspective while feeling a disconnection from the emotions often displayed in rituals and social gatherings.

Despite his mature demeanor, Michael's romantic nature remains unresolved. He once cherished the elements of romance, even as he consciously distanced himself from them. This internal conflict illustrates his struggle between the longing for depth and the rejection of what he perceives as superficiality in emotions and societal norms. His discomfort with crowds and grand displays highlights his desire for authentic connections, revealing the tension between his romantic inclinations and his rational worldview.

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March 18, 2025

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