The distance that wedged itself between me and my happiness wasn't the world, it wasn't the bombs and burning buildings, it was me, my thinking, the cancer of never letting go, is ignorance bliss, I don't know, but it's so painful to think, and tell me, what did thinking ever do for me, to what great place did thinking ever bring me? I think and think and think, I've thought myself out of happiness one million times, but never once into it.

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The narrator reflects on how their own mindset creates a barrier to happiness, rather than external circumstances like war or destruction. They ponder whether ignorance might offer relief, yet they find that overthinking leads only to pain and despair. The questioning of the value of deep thought reveals a struggle with mental anguish and the failure to achieve joy through contemplation.

Ultimately, the narrator acknowledges a pattern of seeking happiness through excessive thinking, which has consistently failed them. Despite countless attempts to find contentment, they recognize that their thoughts have often pushed them away from happiness rather than guiding them toward it, illustrating the profound conflict between thought and emotional wellbeing.

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February 21, 2025

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