The quote reflects a deep sense of frustration and self-doubt experienced by the speaker. The realization that suffering, no matter what its eventual outcome may be, feels overwhelmingly burdensome and pointless contributes to the speaker's inner turmoil. This sense of confusion and disillusionment emphasizes the complexities of human emotions, where pain does not necessarily lead to growth or understanding.
Moreover, the speaker's feelings of worthlessness and helplessness highlight the struggle many face when grappling with their experiences. Instead of finding clarity, they are engulfed in a cycle of self-criticism and despair. This introspective moment encapsulates the idea that the journey through suffering can sometimes feel more like a burden than a pathway to healing, reflecting on the chaotic nature of personal struggles.