The phrase "the first day of the rest of my life" indicates a turning point, suggesting new beginnings and opportunities. However, the speaker expresses doubt and reluctance about embracing this fresh start, reflecting a struggle with existence and gratitude. Instead of feeling thankful for the chance at a new life, there’s a wish that the circumstances leading to this moment had never occurred in the first place.

This sentiment reveals deeper feelings of confusion and discontent. The speaker grapples with their emotions, caught between the expectation to be grateful and an overwhelming desire to reject the situation altogether. This internal conflict portrays the complexity of human emotions when faced with change, highlighting a poignant struggle to find meaning and acceptance in a challenging reality.