The moment the character encounters the gate, they are overwhelmed by a sense of despair and a desire to escape their current reality. The thoughts of throwing themselves down the steep stone steps reflect a deep yearning for freedom, even if it means facing injury or death. This desire highlights the emotional turmoil that the character is experiencing at that moment.
In this moment of crisis, the character sees the possibility of falling into "the pillowy softness of eternity," suggesting a longing for peace and safety that life no longer offers. The imagery of rolling into the sea emphasizes a wish for release from suffering, indicating that for the character, even death seems preferable to their present struggles.