The only thing more painful than being an active forgetter is to be an inert rememberer.
This quote from Jonathan Safran Foer's "Everything Is Illuminated" conveys a profound meditation on memory and the human experience. It contrasts two states of being related to how individuals navigate their pasts: the "active forgetter" and the "inert rememberer." An active forgetter deliberately attempts to let go of memories, perhaps as a coping mechanism to move forward and heal from pain, trauma, or regret. This act, while painful, suggests engagement and choice—there is an intention behind forgetting, signifying agency even in sorrow.
On the other hand, the "inert rememberer" is someone trapped in their memories, unable or unwilling to let go. This person passively carries the weight of the past, which can be debilitating and painful in an entirely different way. The quote suggests that this inertness—the inability to act upon or reframe memories—may be even more painful than the struggle to forget. This can reflect how memory, while a source of identity and wisdom, can also become a prison.
The tension between remembering and forgetting highlights the importance of how we relate to our histories. It invites reflection on personal and collective healing processes. For example, in trauma recovery or historical reconciliation, balancing between remembrance and letting go is vital. Too much forgetfulness risks erasing essential parts of self and history, while excessive remembrance without resolution can paralyze progress and joy.
Ultimately, the quote prompts us to consider the balance between agency and passivity in how we handle our memories and the associated emotions. It elevates the significance of actively engaging with our pasts—even if difficult—as potentially more courageous and transformative than passively bearing memories without action or growth.