The pain, so unexpected and undeserved, had for some reason cleared away the cobwebs. I realized I didn't hate the cabinet door, I hated my life… My house, my family, my backyard, my power mower. Nothing would ever change; nothing new could ever be expected. It had to end, and it did. Now in the dark world where I dwell, ugly things, and surprising things, and sometimes little wondrous things, spill out in me constantly, and I can count on nothing.
The character reflects on an unexpected pain that has made them reevaluate their life. Initially, the frustration they felt towards a simple cabinet door led them to a deeper realization—that their true anger was directed at their stagnant existence. They express a sense of dissatisfaction with all aspects of their life, including their home and family, feeling trapped in a monotonous reality that seems unchangeable.
As the narrative unfolds, this pain brings a strange clarity. Although the world around them has become dark and unpredictable, they acknowledge that this chaos has led to the emergence of unexpected experiences and emotions. They find themselves confronted with both ugly and surprising moments, recognizing that little wonders can still arise amid the uncertainty, highlighting a complex relationship with their changed perception of life.
