The problem of self-loathing isn't new. What's new is the idea that it's the people with the history of greatest injustice who have the greatest right to be heard, and that the time has come for the arts not just to make room for them but to be dominated by them.
Sigrid Nunez The Friend
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The issue of self-loathing has existed for a long time, but recent perspectives highlight that those who have faced the most significant injustices have a rightful claim to be heard. This shift emphasizes the importance of acknowledging their experiences and voices.

In the realm of the arts, this recognition suggests that these marginalized voices should not only be given space but should also lead the discourse. Sigrid Nunez's book "The Friend" touches on this evolving mindset, advocating for a cultural landscape deeply influenced by those historically silenced.

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The Friend
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Sigrid Nunez
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February 27, 2025
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Other quotes in The Friend

They don't want to see me lose my home. They want me to come to my senses before it's too late. I need a better way to cope with my feelings of loss and guilt. I need bereavement therapy. Here are some names. I should think about medication. Here's what worked for them. There are books. There are websites. There are support groups. Healing won't come from withdrawing into a fantasy world, isolating myself, spending all my time with a dog. There is such a thing as pathological grief. There is the magical thinking of pathological grief, which is a kind of dementia. Which in their collective opinion is what I have.
Sigrid Nunez The Friend
They don't want to see me lose my home. They want me to come to my senses before it's too late. I need a better way to cope with my feelings of loss and guilt. I need bereavement therapy. Here are some names. I should think about medication. Here's what worked for them. There are books. There are websites. There are support groups. Healing won't come from withdrawing into a fantasy world, isolating myself, spending all my time with a dog. There is such a thing as pathological grief. There is the magical thinking of pathological grief, which is a kind of dementia. Which in their collective opinion is what I have.
A friend of mine who is working on a memoir says, I hate the idea of writing as some kind of catharsis, because it seems like that can't possibly produce a good book.You cannot hope to console yourself for your grief by writing, warns Natalia Ginzburg.Turn then to Isak Dinesen, who believed that you could make any sorrow bearable by putting into into a story or telling a story about it.
Sigrid Nunez The Friend
A friend of mine who is working on a memoir says, I hate the idea of writing as some kind of catharsis, because it seems like that can't possibly produce a good book.You cannot hope to console yourself for your grief by writing, warns Natalia Ginzburg.Turn then to Isak Dinesen, who believed that you could make any sorrow bearable by putting into into a story or telling a story about it.
I confess to sudden rages. Walking in Midtown, rush hour's peak, people streaming in both directions, I find myself seething, ready to kill. Who are all these fucking people, and how is it fair, how is it even possible that all of them, these perfectly ordinary people, should be alive, when -
Sigrid Nunez The Friend
I confess to sudden rages. Walking in Midtown, rush hour's peak, people streaming in both directions, I find myself seething, ready to kill. Who are all these fucking people, and how is it fair, how is it even possible that all of them, these perfectly ordinary people, should be alive, when -
I've known plenty of women who brace themselves whenever they leave the house, even a few who try to avoid leaving the house. Of course, a woman has only to wait until she's a certain age, when she becomes invisible, and-problem solved.
Sigrid Nunez The Friend
I've known plenty of women who brace themselves whenever they leave the house, even a few who try to avoid leaving the house. Of course, a woman has only to wait until she's a certain age, when she becomes invisible, and-problem solved.
You caught some flak for questioning whether there could really be such a thing as a flâneuse. You didn't think it was possible for a woman to wander the streets in the same spirit and manner as a man. A female pedestrian was subject to constant disruptions: stares, comments, catcalls, gropes. A woman was raised to be always on guard: Was this guy walking too close? Was that guy following her? How, then, could she ever relax enough to experience the loss of sense of self, the
Sigrid Nunez The Friend
You caught some flak for questioning whether there could really be such a thing as a flâneuse. You didn't think it was possible for a woman to wander the streets in the same spirit and manner as a man. A female pedestrian was subject to constant disruptions: stares, comments, catcalls, gropes. A woman was raised to be always on guard: Was this guy walking too close? Was that guy following her? How, then, could she ever relax enough to experience the loss of sense of self, the
To draw me out, the therapist asks what I did for the holidays. When I tell him he says gently {he says everything gently}, Sounds like that's one of the ways your loss has affected you: not wanting to be with other people. Hating to be with other people, I don't say. Terrified of being with other people.
Sigrid Nunez The Friend
To draw me out, the therapist asks what I did for the holidays. When I tell him he says gently {he says everything gently}, Sounds like that's one of the ways your loss has affected you: not wanting to be with other people. Hating to be with other people, I don't say. Terrified of being with other people.
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Other quotes in representation

The literature of America should reflect the children of America.
Lucille Clifton
The literature of America should reflect the children of America.
The problem of self-loathing isn't new. What's new is the idea that it's the people with the history of greatest injustice who have the greatest right to be heard, and that the time has come for the arts not just to make room for them but to be dominated by them.
Sigrid Nunez The Friend
The problem of self-loathing isn't new. What's new is the idea that it's the people with the history of greatest injustice who have the greatest right to be heard, and that the time has come for the arts not just to make room for them but to be dominated by them.
More »

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