The thing I'm trying to ignore. The thing I shouldn't want, the thing I can't have.And he's standing in front of me right now.So what do I wish for? Something I'm not sure I want? Someone I'm not sure I need? Or someone I know I can't have?Screw it. Let the fates decide.
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In this passage, the narrator is grappling with a strong desire for someone they feel they shouldn't want or cannot have. The presence of this person right in front of them intensifies their internal conflict and confusion about their true feelings and needs.
They question whether their wishes are genuine or influenced by fleeting emotions, and whether their longing is for what they truly desire or simply an unattainable fantasy. Ultimately, they decide to relinquish control and leave their fate to destiny, accepting uncertainty in their feelings and future.
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