The traveling salesmen fed me pills that made the lining of my veins feel scraped out, my jaw ached... I knew every raindrop by its name, I sensed everything before it happened. Like I knew a certain oldsmobile would stop even before it slowed, and by the sweet voices of the family inside, I knew we'd have an accident in the rain. I didn't care. They said they'd take me all the way.
In Denis Johnson's "Jesus' Son," the narrator describes a harrowing experience with drug use, vividly expressing the physical and psychological toll it takes on him. The pills he consumes leave him with a sensation akin to having his veins scraped, and he suffers from jaw pain. This state alters his perception, allowing him to anticipate events with unsettling clarity, such as predicting an upcoming car accident just by the sounds of a family inside a passing vehicle.
Through this intense experience, the narrator exhibits a detachment from the chaotic situations around him, unable to care about the impending danger. Despite feeling deeply connected to his surroundings, he is also detached from the consequences of his actions, reflecting a profound sense of resignation. His acceptance of the journey they promised signifies a deeper commentary on the aimlessness and dangers of his lifestyle.
