In the passage, the character reflects on his regret for not mastering the skill of thinking, which involves a methodical approach to understanding language and ideas. He reminisces about a technique his teacher had demonstrated, where he would use his fingers to guide his focus on subjects and verbs, symbolizing a structured process of thought. This regret highlights his struggle with clarity in his thoughts and expressions.
He is overwhelmed by a cacophony of conflicting emotions and thoughts swirling in his mind, encapsulated as a "babel." This turmoil consists of his uncertainties, aspirations, fears, and fantasies, indicating a deep sense of inner conflict. The passage suggests a longing for the ability to order these chaotic feelings into coherent understanding, revealing a profound existential struggle within the character.