There are some things about myself I can't explain to anyone. There are some things I don't understand at all. I can't tell what I think about things or what I'm after. I don't know what my strengths are or what I'm supposed to do about them. But if I start thinking about these things in too much detail the whole thing gets scary. And if I get scared I can only think about myself. I become really self-centered, and without meaning to, I hurt people. So I'm not such a wonderful human being.
by Haruki Murakami
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The narrator expresses a deep sense of confusion and introspection about their identity and emotions. They acknowledge that there are facets of themselves that are impossible to articulate, leaving them perplexed and unsure of their thoughts, desires, and strengths. This uncertainty leads to a fear that, when magnified, consumes their focus and results in a self-centered outlook.
This self-centeredness can inadvertently harm others, highlighting the narrator's struggle with self-awareness and interpersonal relationships. The admission reveals a vulnerability and complexity in their character, suggesting that despite their flaws, they strive to understand themselves better, even if it leads to discomfort.
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