The speaker expresses a profound disconnection from the concept of God, emphasizing that the narrative surrounding Him feels foreign and alien. This sense of estrangement stems from the belief that the religious story is collectively owned by humanity rather than personally relatable. The speaker feels that it is filled with the negative experiences and influences of countless individuals throughout history.
This perspective leads to a rejection of faith, as the speaker perceives the myth of God as tainted by the collective sorrow and struggles of humanity. It suggests a longing for a more genuine, individual experience rather than a belief system burdened by the weight of shared despair and history. The author, Vladimir Nabokov, captures a poignant critique of collective belief, indicating that faith, as commonly understood, does not resonate with him personally.