There was an awful suspicion in my mind that I'd finally gone over the hump, and the worst thing about it was that I didn't feel tragic at all, but only weary, and sort of comfortably detached.
The protagonist grapples with a disquieting realization about life, sensing a shift within himself that hints he might have reached a significant turning point. This moment brings an unsettling awareness that, despite the gravity of the situation, he doesn't experience a sense of tragedy or despair. Instead, he feels a strange sense of relief, as if he has become numb to the chaos around him.
This weariness leads him to a place of comfortable detachment, where he observes his surroundings with a sense of resignation. This implies that, while he may be facing difficult truths, there is a certain acceptance that provides solace, allowing him to navigate his experiences with a sense of calm amid the turmoil.
