This was exactly what the girl had most dreaded all her life and had scrupulously avoided until now: lovemaking without emotion or love. She knew that she had crossed the forbidden boundary, but she proceeded across it without objections and as a full participant; only somewhere, far off in a corner of her consciousness, did she feel horror at the thought that she had never known such pleasure, never so much pleasure as at this moment--beyond that boundary.
The girl experienced a profound emotional conflict as she engaged in lovemaking devoid of affection or genuine feelings, something she had long feared and tried to escape. Despite her reservations about crossing this emotional threshold, she participated willingly, revealing a complex interplay of desire and dread. The experience pushed her into uncharted territory, challenging her deeply held beliefs about intimacy and connection.
Amidst this intimate act, she found herself grappling with the realization that she had never encountered such immense pleasure in her life before. This stark contradiction between her previous ideals of love and the current experience left her feeling both exhilarated and horrified. It underscored a troubling epiphany about the nature of pleasure and the boundaries she had once upheld, prompting her to question the very essence of her past beliefs regarding love and desire.
