We have it all arranged in our minds, and the less often we see a particular person the more satisfying it is to check how obediently he conforms to our notion of him every time we hear of him. Any deviation in the fates we have ordained would strike us as not only anomalous but unethical. We would prefer not to have known our neighbor, the retired hot-dog stand operator, if it turns out he has just produced the greatest book of poetry his age has seen.
In Vladimir Nabokov's "Lolita," the author reflects on the rigid expectations we often have about others and the satisfaction derived from their predictable behavior. It suggests that the less frequently we interact with someone, the more we delight in their steadfastness to our preconceived notions. Any unexpected changes or accomplishments from these individuals challenge not just our perceptions but also what we consider ethical, revealing a discomfort with their deviation from our mental framework.
This observation highlights a tendency to box people into familiar roles, leaving no room for their growth or transformation. The irony is emphasized through the example of the retired hot-dog stand operator, whose unexpected success in literature clashes with our rigid categorization, making us wish we had remained ignorant of his true potential. This speaks to a broader human inclination to resist challenges to our established beliefs about others, ultimately limiting our understanding of their true capabilities.