What did this portend? He still breathed, the instruments did not change, his heart beat on. But he called to Peter. Did this mean that he longed to live the life of his child of the mind, Young Peter? Or in some kind of delirium was he speaking to his brother the Hegemon? Or earlier, his brother as a boy. Peter, wait for me. Peter, did I do well? Peter, don't hurt me. Peter, I hate you. Peter for one smile of yours I'd die or kill. What was his message?
The character's contemplation reveals a deep connection to both his son, Peter, and his brother, the Hegemon. As he drifts in a state between life and death, he reflects on various aspects of his relationships with these two figures, indicating a crisis of identity and purpose. His mind oscillates between longing for the innocence of childhood and grappling with complex feelings of love and resentment. These thoughts seem to illustrate his struggle to reconcile his past actions and current state of being.
This uncertainty about his existence raises questions of what it truly means to live fully and the impact of familial bonds. His repeated calls to Peter echo his desire for validation and understanding, suggesting a yearning for connection amidst turmoil. The emotional weight of his words—mixing affection with conflict—highlights the intricate dynamics of their relationship. Ultimately, it signifies a quest for forgiveness and meaning as he navigates his thoughts in a poignant moment of introspection.
