What do you have in mind after you graduate?What I always thought I had in mind was getting some big scholarship to graduate school or a grant to study all over Europe, and then I thought I'd be a professor and write books of poems or write books of poems and be an editor of some sort. Usually I had these plans on the tip of my tongue.I don't really know, I heard myself say. I felt a deep shock, hearing myself say that, because the minute I said it, I knew it was true.
The narrator reflects on their expectations for life after graduation, anticipating opportunities like scholarships for graduate school or grants for travel in Europe. They imagined a future as a professor, writing poetry and possibly working in editing. These aspirations were often articulated with confidence, almost automatically.