What often activated my stress was that other people were always angry about everything, presenting themselves as enraged by opinions that I believed in and liked or thought were simply innocuous. My pushback against all of this forced me to confront a degraded fantasy of myself-an actor, as someone I never thought existed-and this, in turn, became a constant reminder of my failings. And what was worse: this anger could become addictive to the point where I just gave up and sat there exhausted, mute with stress. But ultimately silence and submission were what the machine wanted.
In "White," Bret Easton Ellis reflects on how the anger of others can trigger personal stress. He often found himself in conflict, feeling overwhelmed by their enraged reactions to perspectives he valued or considered benign. This pushback led him to face a distorted self-image, viewing himself in a way he never accepted before, which highlighted his personal shortcomings and deepened his internal struggles.
Ellis describes the toll this anger takes, noting how it can become an addictive force that leaves him feeling drained and powerless. In this state of exhaustion, he recognizes that remaining silent and submitting to external pressures is ultimately what society desires, perpetuating a cycle of stress and frustration that hinders genuine expression.
