What she wants to do if she can get the time to do it, is not so much to live in the past as to open it up and get one good look at it.
The quote from Alice Munro's "Runaway" expresses a desire to revisit the past, not to dwell in it, but to gain a deeper understanding of it. The character wishes for the opportunity to reflect on her experiences, suggesting that the past holds valuable insights that could inform her present. This exploration is more about appreciation and comprehension rather than nostalgia.
The act of looking back can be a journey of self-discovery. By opening up the past, the character seeks clarity and knowledge that could potentially enrich her life. It highlights the idea that while moving forward is essential, acknowledging where we come from also plays a crucial role in shaping our identity and decisions.