The passage expresses a deep sense of confusion and existential uncertainty regarding the future and the choices one faces. The speaker grapples with questions about what actions to take in a challenging situation, highlighting a state of aporia—a philosophical term for being at a loss. The repeated inquiries about what to do suggest a feeling of hopelessness, as the speaker wonders if any affirmative actions or shifts are possible when confronted with ambiguity.
Furthermore, the speaker admits a lack of understanding of the term "aporia," contemplating the condition of being uncertain or skeptical. This uncertainty raises questions about whether one can be indifferent or unknowing in their ephectic state—essentially, can one navigate this confusion with awareness? The reflection on hope and despair reveals a struggle with existential philosophy, emphasizing the complexities of human thought and decision-making.