What was he doing with her? How on earth could he love her? But he did. Or, at least, she made him feel sick, sad, and distracted. Perhaps there was another way of describing that unique and useless combination of feelings, but "love" would have to do for now.
The character grapples with conflicting emotions regarding his feelings for a woman. He struggles to understand how he could be in love with her, especially since his feelings are tied to discomfort and sadness. This internal conflict reflects a complicated relationship dynamic, where love is not just joy but also encompasses a sense of distress.
Despite the turmoil, the character acknowledges his feelings may be categorized as love, even if it's a confusing and painful experience. The description illustrates how love can often be intertwined with negative emotions, challenging the conventional notion of romance and highlighting the complexities of human connections.
