The narrator expresses a deep longing for the physical presence of boys, emphasizing her fascination with their bodies. She finds herself drawn to the smallest details, like the way their hands handle cigarettes or the contours of their physique. This infatuation is largely visual; she appreciates their appearance and wishes to capture the moment in her mind, wishing for them to remain still so she can absorb the beauty around her.
In this reflection, the narrator reveals a complex connection to her desire, focusing not just on emotional intimacy but on the visual and physical aspects of attraction. The act of observing becomes a way for her to relate to them, suggesting a yearning for both possession and a deeper understanding of their essence. Her experience illustrates the interplay between longing and the appreciation of beauty in fleeting moments.