When you are in the middle of a story it isn't a story at all, but only a confusion; a dark roaring, a blindness, a wreckage of shattered glass and splintered wood; like a house in a whirlwind, or else a boat crushed by the icebergs or swept over the rapids, and all aboard powerless to stop it. It's only afterwards that it becomes anything like a story at all. When you are telling it, to yourself or to someone else.
In this quote from Margaret Atwood's "Alias Grace," the author paints a vivid picture of the chaotic nature of experiencing a difficult situation. Atwood compares such experiences to being trapped in a whirlwind or a boat overwhelmed by icebergs, suggesting that when we are in the midst of turmoil, everything feels disordered and confusing. This sense of chaos can make it hard to find clarity or understanding about what is happening, emphasizing the helplessness that often accompanies a crisis.
Atwood asserts that true comprehension of these events only emerges in retrospect. Once we have distanced ourselves from the turmoil and begin to narrate the events, the confusion can transform into a coherent story. This process of storytelling allows us to make sense of our experiences and gives structure to the otherwise chaotic feelings of that moment. Through reflection and narration, we can derive meaning from the turmoil and find a sense of closure.