When you think a girl looks pretty, say it. But don't reference the thing that might reveal you are aware of the backstage process: e.g., say, "You look gorgeous tonight," not "I like how you did your makeup tonight." Also, a compliment means less if you compliment the thing and not the way the girl is carrying it off. So say, "You look so sexy in those boots," rather than "Those boots are really cool." I didn't make the boots! I don't care if you like the boots' design! We are magic to you: you have no idea how we got to look as good as we do.
In her book "Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?", Mindy Kaling shares insights about how men should compliment women. She suggests that when expressing admiration, it is essential to avoid mentioning specific elements that could imply an awareness of the effort behind their appearance. Instead of focusing on makeup or clothing details, it is more impactful to compliment the way a woman carries herself. For instance, saying "You look gorgeous tonight" is preferable to commenting on makeup application.
Kaling emphasizes that compliments should celebrate the overall effect rather than the individual components of a woman's look. By focusing on how she looks in her outfit, rather than the outfit itself, you acknowledge the effort and poise she displays. Kaling points out that the magic of a woman's beauty often comes from an unseen effort, making it crucial to appreciate the complete presentation rather than just parts of it.
