When you try to take someone's pain away from them, you don't make it better. You just tell them it's not OK to talk about their pain.
This quote profoundly captures a common but often overlooked aspect of empathy and support. It highlights a crucial misunderstanding in how we approach others' suffering. The intuition to 'fix' pain or 'take it away' is natural—after all, no one wants to see a loved one suffer. However, this quote reminds us that attempting to eliminate someone's pain can unintentionally silence them, implying that their experience is unwelcome or inappropriate to express. Grief and pain are deeply personal experiences that require acknowledgment and space for expression. When we dismiss or minimize someone's pain, we invalidate their emotions and hinder genuine healing. True compassion often means being present with someone in their discomfort without rushing to provide solutions or quick fixes. It involves listening, validating their feelings, and allowing them the freedom to articulate their grief without judgment or pressure. This approach fosters trust, emotional safety, and a deeper connection, enabling individuals to process their pain in their own time and way. In a culture that frequently avoids discussions about suffering, this message is especially important. It encourages us to reconsider our impulses to 'make it better' and instead prioritize accompaniment and acceptance, ultimately respecting the complexity and sanctity of human pain.