Whereas by desiring someone who would not desire her, she could allow this fire to burn and feel: how alive I am! I am capable of desire.
The protagonist reflects on the intensity of desire, suggesting that yearning for someone who does not reciprocate can invigorate one's sense of existence. This unfulfilled longing allows her to experience a profound sense of vitality and affirmation of her own emotions. Rather than fulfilling this desire, the pursuit itself becomes a source of excitement and self-awareness.
This perspective explores the complexities of desire, showing that sometimes the act of wanting can be more powerful than actual connection. The protagonist gains a deeper understanding of herself through this contrast, as the fire of longing highlights her capacity for passion and the richness of her inner life.
