In the book "Becoming," Michelle Obama reflects on her personal experiences with racial identity and societal perceptions. After marrying her husband, she notices how his varied complexion and background lead to confusion about his ethnicity. This reflects a broader national struggle among both white and black communities to categorize individuals based on appearance and heritage, which often leads to frustration when identities don't fit neatly into expected boxes.

Michelle connects this to her own experiences, highlighting a pivotal moment when her cousin questioned her ethnicity. She draws a parallel to the public's inquiries about Barack Obama's identity, suggesting that America frequently grapples with similar uncertainties regarding race and identity. This ongoing challenge illustrates the complexities of belonging and perception in a diverse society.