You can feel people staring: it's like heat that rise from the pavement during summer, like a poker in the small of your back. You don't have to hear a whisper, either, to know that it's about you. I use to stand in front of the mirror in the bathroom to see what they are staring at. I wanted to know what made their heads turn, what it was about me that was so incredibly different. At first I couldn't tell. I mean, I was just me. Then one day. When I looked in the mirror, I understood. I looked into my own eyes and I hated myself, maybe as much as all of them did. That was the day I started to believe they might be right.jodi picoult
In this excerpt, the narrator reflects on the feeling of being watched and judged by others. They compare the sensation to the oppressive heat of summer pavement, emphasizing the discomfort of that scrutiny. Despite not hearing any explicit comments, the protagonist knows the focus is on them and feels compelled to examine themselves in the mirror, searching for the perceived flaw that attracts negative attention.
Through this self-examination, the narrator grapples with their own self-image, initially seeing themselves as just an ordinary person. However, a realization hits when they recognize a deep-seated loathing within themselves. This moment of introspection leads to a damaging belief that the negativity directed at them may hold some truth, revealing the profound impact of external judgment on self-perception.
