You disgust me, all of you, with your happiness! With your life that must be loved at all costs. {…} I spit on your idea of life! {…} You are all like dogs that lick everything they smell! {…} I do not want to understand. I am here for something other than understanding. I am here to tell you no, and to die. To tell you no and to die.

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The quoted passage expresses a deep disdain for the conventional ideas of happiness and life embraced by others. The speaker feels a strong repulsion towards those who seem to cherish their existence unconditionally, likening them to uncritical beasts. This rejection signifies a profound alienation from societal norms and an unwillingness to conform or find value in a life dedicated to pleasure and superficial joy.

Moreover, the speaker emphasizes a desire for authenticity over any attempt at understanding or acceptance of mainstream values. Their declaration of being present not for comprehension but to voice negation underscores a struggle against societal pressures. The repetition of the phrase "to tell you no and to die" reinforces a tragic resolve, highlighting a belief that true existence may lie in opposition to the values of the world around them.

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January 28, 2025

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