You give too much attention to things that make you unhappy,' Allison says. No doubt she is right. And yet attending to things that make Hannah unhappy--it's such a natural reflex. It feels so intrinsic, it feels in some ways like who she is. The unflattering observations she makes about other people, the comments that get her in trouble, aren't these truer than small talk and thank-you notes? Worse, but truer. And underneath all the decorum, isn't most everyone judgmental and disappointed? Or is it only certain people, and can she choose not to be one of them--can she choose this without also, like her mother, just giving in?
Allison tells Hannah that she focuses too much on things that cause her unhappiness, and Hannah acknowledges this but struggles to change her mindset. This tendency to dwell on negative aspects feels deeply ingrained in her, almost like a fundamental part of her identity. She wonders if the harsh truths she observes in others are more significant than polite conversations, leading her to question if the judgmental attitudes she has are shared by everyone or if she can break free from them.
Hannah grapples with the idea of choosing a different perspective without losing herself in the process. This internal conflict reflects her desire for personal growth while recognizing the difficulty of overcoming ingrained habits of thought. She is torn between the natural inclination to be critical and the hope that she can rise above this tendency, discovering a more positive way to engage with the world around her.
