The speaker reflects on the chaos that unfolded in Vegas, expressing doubts about their choices as they witnessed friends getting hurt. They question whether they would choose to embark on that dangerous path again, fully aware of the consequences. The gravity of the situation makes them reconsider their decisions, which leads to feelings of guilt and self-awareness.
However, upon seeing someone they care about safe and unharmed, the speaker realizes they would willingly face the dangers again, despite recognizing the selfishness of such a thought. This acknowledgment of their own flaws and the complexity of their feelings highlights the deep moral conflict they are experiencing.