All right, I'll dance with you, she said, before Yossarian could even speak. But I won't let you sleep with me. Who asked you? Yossarian asked her. You don't want to sleep with me? she exclaimed with...

Men," Colonel Cargill began in Yossarian's squadron, measuring his pauses carefully. "You're American officers. The officers of no other army in the world can make that statement. Think about it.

You just came out of the hospital ten days ago," Milo reminded him reprovingly. "You can't keep running into the hospital every time something happens you don't like. No, the best thing to do is fly...

Don't be such an ass, Scheisskopf. People have a right to do anything that's not forbidden by law, and there's no law against lying to you.

Yossarian wrinkled his forehead with quizzical amusement. You won't marry me because I'm crazy, and you say I'm crazy because I want to marry you? Is that right?

There were billions of conscientious body cells oxidating away day and night like dumb animals at their complicated job of keeping him alive and healthy, and every one was a potential traitor and foe.

Steal Captain Black's car, said Yossarian. That's what I always do. We can't steal anybody's car. Since you began stealing the nearest car every time you wanted one, nobody leaves the ignition on.

What could you do? Major Major asked himself again. What could you do with a man who looked you squarely in the eye and said he would rather die than be killed in combat

My fish dream is a sex dream.

I'd rather have peanut brittle crumbs on my face than flies in my eyes, Havermeyer retorted.

Clevinger was already on the way, half out of his chair with emotion, his eyes moist and his lips quivering and pale. As always occurred when he quarreled over principles in which he believed...

He mashed hundreds of cakes of GI soap into the sweet potatoes just to show that people have the taste of Philistines and don't know the difference between good and bad.

Death was irreversible, he suspected, and he began to think he was going to lose

He was determined to live forever or die trying, and for him the only purpose of the deployment was to return alive.

Opportunity only knocks once in this world, he would say. Major Major's father repeated this good joke at every opportunity.

He woke up blinking from a slight headache and when he opened his eyes he saw a world seething in chaos where everything was in natural order.

There was only one catch and that was Catch-22....

Colonel Korn agreed that it was neither possible nor necessary to educate people who never questioned anything.