There've been times when I've bought a whole pound of cheese and walked down the street and eaten it in one go.

Rarely do pens go dry in restaurants.

I don't know how to use appliances. I mean, I use the coffee maker. But that's it.

I have to admit I've never had a Fruit Loop.

Keith was just bringing the glass to his lips when Adrian said, Mmm. O positive, my favorite.Keith sprayed out the wine he'd just drunk and promptly started coughing. I was relieved that none got on...

I know nothing I'm doing is important,' he said. 'Sure, I'm just a waste product of history. Maybe nothing I'm doing is even real, after all. But I was born right here, in this old house, and I look...

What music do you like? he asked between calls. 'Cheery, chirpy pop.' Wincing, he pulled up a station that delivered exactly that. 'You owe me.' 'Come on' - she turned in her seat to face him once...

You're joining us for dinner, I hope? asked his mom. She was small and brunette and vaguely mousy. I guess? I said. I have to be home by ten. Also I don't, um, eat meat? No problem. We'll...

"Name three types of olives." "Olives! I wouldn't know one type!" "Well, there are three. You can get green ones, you can get black ones, or you can get stuffed."

I fell out of the hammock while I was sleeping. On your head? Apparently. Good thing it's hard, huh?

You're trying to convince me? The one who has a second apartment two blocks from her first apartment just so she can get away from her rabbit for a couple of hours a day?

No milk,

As I turned the key and pushed open the front door, as I crossed the threshold, I thought how breathtaking, how fleeting, how precious was my ordinary day Now is now. Here is my treasure.

This is something that has been puzzling me for years. Women will stand there watching their items being rung up, and then when the till lady says, 'That's £4.20, love,' or whatever, they suddenly...

When I'd asked Mrs. Barbour where the washing machine was, she'd looked at me as if I'd asked for lye and lard to boil up for soap.

Eric had to make me wake up for long enough to take out my contacts.

My sister has appendages connected to her ankles. They feature toes and arches, but I cannot call them feet. In color they resemble the leathery paws of great apes, but in texture they are closer to...

It's remarkable, being alive. Being, once again, someone walking through a dust of blowing snow, passing the window of the liquor store, which offers an array of bottles surrounded by tiny blinking...

As the years pass, I am coming more and more to understand that it is the common, everyday blessings of our common everyday lives for which we should be particularly grateful. They are the things that...

I thought about how often this was needed in everyday life. How we feel lonely, sometimes to the point of tears, but we don't let those tears come because we are not supposed to cry.